The Confusion With Commitment
You know the definition of commitment…
If you're anything like me, you've turned yourself inside out to be a committed partner, mother, co-worker, leader, friend, and more. You commit to events, programs, PTA's, classroom mom, meetings for work, late nights, early mornings, skipping lunch, figuring out last minute snacks for soccer, while mastering how to get two kids to two different places at the same time. And that's just this week's list.
You are a walking advertisement for commitment to "figuring things out ." It's a badge of honor! You're the dependable volunteer, and when a plan comes together, you get a hefty dose of dopamine when others marvel at how you get it all done. But before you can smile sweetly and come up with a witty and charming (or passive-aggressive) response, you are off to the following commitment.
The problem with this is you are committed to the “things” and others but in order to sustainably pour into that you need to be committed to the most critical thing in your life: YOURSELF.
Putting Others First
The "everyone else comes first" mentality hasn't gained you anything but exhaustion, an unhealthy imprint of the stress response, possibly a few pounds from skipping meals, eating on the go, or an overabundance of "coffee and chaos" mentality. You've been so busy being busy that you've missed out on being present, and the worst part is your body has become so accustomed to surviving the day it has forgotten how to function optimally.
Why does this matter? The problem lies in the developmental fact that the brain and body recall your stress response, which has turned into a chaotic reactionary survival mode due to the lifestyle you are fully immersed. You're not fully committed to your life but rather committed to getting "things done." You're committed to the tasks, the results, and the problem-solving. You've trained yourself to feel accomplished by the sheer amount of hustle you can endure, but it has created massive limitations on enjoying your life.
Burnout or Bust
You think you're showing up in commitment, but in reality, you're showing up out of obligation, fear, others' expectations, and guilt. You avoid disappointing others (or yourself), which results in your justification to back-burner everything else that might "get in the way ." Your dreams. Your goals. Your plans.
That results in "things" getting done but never actually filling you up spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or somatically. You struggle to maintain a sense of identity and peace because your day is designed and driven around OTHER'S needs, wants, and visions.
"Well, there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have a choice. I have to pay bills. I have to take care of my kids. I have to take care of the house…."
Sound familiar?
The truth is there is something you can do about it, and you should because ultimately, recommitting to yourself, your health, your vision, and your purpose for life allows you to SERVE and SHOW UP in commitment to others more present and joyful.
Reconnecting with your identity and purpose provides a clear path on how you need to show up in commitment to the life you deeply desire. It grants you time, space, and energy to embody a lifestyle filled with situations, circumstances, dreams, and relationships that mean the most to you. Showing up in commitment to yourself empowers you to eliminate the hustle of your day that ends in a constant cycle of burnout and replaces it with authentically chosen tasks you can complete with a sense of passion and purpose.
By aligning your core values to the priorities and lifestyle vision with the current season of life you are engaged, you can show up in purpose and commitment, which ultimately leaves you able to serve and give more authentically. Prioritizing your self-committing to YOUR NEEDS is essential to evolving and creating the lifestyle you deserve and desire.
