More Than Just A Mom

Whether you're a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) or a WM (working mother), the pressures and circumstances of the last three years have made it very challenging to prioritize yourself. We’ve moved through the infamous “unprecedented times” with chaotic grace and aptitude however, we’ve come out the otherside more than just bruises. We have battle wounds that have altered our foundation and the strategy of how we approach life.

You’re so accustomed to treading water and moving through things on autopilot, the exhaustion often sneaks up on you. You're killing it in the mom dept or crushing it at work (or maybe both with temporary superhuman energy), but before long, we look in the mirror and realize how much time has gone by, how much we've missed, and how lost we feel.

The tug of war-between hustle and guilt has taken an absolute toll on your mind, body, and spirit. You have lived in a mindset of "you're damn if you do, and you're damned if you don't" for entirely too long, and the result has been little more than lost time and lost identity. If you're a SAHM, you may wonder: "Is this it? Am I always going to feel like I lost my sense of identity because I chose to stay home??" If you're a WM, you may wonder: "Is this it? Will I always struggle with guilt and shame because I chose to work?" And bless, if you're trying to do both, you may wonder: " Is this it? Will I always be hustling and torn because I chose to do both?"

The simple answer is no, regardless of where you are on the purpose spectrum. That isn't it.

Before you can embrace and embody that answer, it's essential to take a moment and normalize the question. You aren't alone in these feelings of overwhelm and gasping for air. It's acceptable, if not expected, to feel as if you're on an island looking in a mirror, squinting to find some semblance of who you were/are/hoped you would be.

Hindsight often affords better visibility but comes at the loss of time. To provide you with both, you must accept the fact that:

IT'S OK TO BE AND WANT MORE THAN ____________.

You are ALLOWED to have your own identity outside your “roles”. Just like a tree has multiple roots supporting it’s growth towards purpose. Your purpose can align with your definition of providing for your family while simultaneously filling you up with joy and abundance. Whether it's work, a hobby, volunteering, or something else meaningful, honoring who you were before you were a mother/wife/provider/professional is a critical part of taking care of yourself. There is immense value in accepting that you can't always put yourself first, but you don't always have to put yourself last.

There is so much of your life you cannot control, yet this is the most important thing you can and should: how you treat yourself. The secondary is how you teach people (family and supervisors included) how to treat you. If you're a STAHM, it's a reasonable request and a good lesson to teach your kids to honor and respect your time equally. If you're a WM, set limits to enjoy time with your family.

It is possible to "have it all" without burnout, guilt, and shame. How? It starts with taking control over yourself, managing your needs, setting your boundaries, and realizing what you're capable of. Being true to who you were before you were who you are is a powerful way to fill your cup to serve better and provide for those you pour into.

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